Empower Your Teen: 6 Strategies for a Successful School Year
by Jennifer Gershberg
Ask any college professor how their students are doing, and I guarantee you’ll hear some entertaining – and anxiety-provoking – stories. It’s a revelation for parents that despite the increasing challenges of college admission, students nowadays are less equipped in terms of competencies, mental health, and time management. I’ve dedicated the past eight years as a professor at the University of Maryland’s Smith School of Business, teaching the core Business Law course to 400 students each year. I have watched and listened to my students’ experiences and have concluded that student success ultimately requires a village. Most of the work, of course, is up to the students. But this post will focus on what parents can do to help optimize their kids’ success in college and beyond. You should know that I am also the parent of three teens, so I fully understand the challenges associated with raising them!
Strategies for a Successful School Year
Let’s dive into a few key objectives with this article. First, I’ll describe the college landscape today and will identify challenges that your child may face once they get to college. There are things that we can all do to help prepare our kids before they get to college – even for the high school kids who are getting all A’s. It’s a common scenario – I frequently come across bright students who aced all their classes in rigorous high schools but still find themselves grappling with some prevalent issues once they transition to college. Once I have described what my colleagues and I are seeing, I will give you some ideas on ways you can help support them.
So what is happening in college today? To be blunt, students’ anxiety is spiking and their academic performance is sharply declining. It’s interesting and a bit surprising because college has become so hard to get into, so you would think that the students are all doing great – but quite the opposite is happening. My colleagues and I, across universities, agree that students tend to be more anxious, less focused, and less tolerant of ambiguity than even a few years ago. The research is consistent with our observations: studies report that 60% of college students today have a mental health diagnosis, 1/3 have an anxiety disorder, and 8/10 Gen Z’ers admit that social media distracts them from school and studying.
I think these findings are due to a number of factors and are not anyone’s fault. The pandemic hurt everyone, and high schools across the board relaxed standards as instruction became virtual. Our students took a hit, both in terms of mental health and academic readiness, and these effects continue to linger. Grade inflation also played a role, with students entering college overestimating their academic prowess. This has particular implications for anxiety in college because now that so many high school students get all A’s, college has become much harder to get into and students increasingly find themselves attending colleges they think they are too good for.
It is particularly painful for these students to struggle in college as they think they are attending a safety that they should just breeze through. Another major factor in the decline in performance and spike in anxiety is constant phone use and social media addiction. There is a constant barrage of electronic information coming at our students.
In addition, many of our kids’ learning resources and tests are online rather than in hard copy, which changes the method of studying for many not in a great direction. There was a fascinating New York Times article in January 2023 that talked about how unfocused we’ve all become, and one of the causes the article identified was so much reading from screens. Screens, by design, encourage rapid reading – more of a scan for information than a careful absorption of content. Clearly, this poses a challenge to effective learning. Although screens aren’t going away, I have concluded that there are very tangible things we can all do to support student learning even in this environment. So what can parents do?
1. Limit your child’s cell phone use, particularly when they are studying.
I get it – I’m a parent of three teenagers, so I understand that this is no small feat. But the research is conclusive that phone addiction is really doing a job on students’ ability to focus. Because so much of students’ success in college comes down to their ability to manage their time and work efficiently, their ability to concentrate is absolutely crucial or the work will never get done. Setting healthy boundaries around phone use and social media now, while you still have some influence, is incredibly beneficial. The students who flounder in college are often overwhelmed by the freedom and relative lack of structure – which are very dangerous when coupled with social media addiction – so it is really critical to instill good habits while they’re still at home. Scheduling non-electronic time with phone time built in at specific intervals for a mental break is the best bet.
2. Work with your kids to self-advocate when it comes to communicating with teachers.
You definitely want to avoid helicoptering your kids’ communications with their teachers, but it’s very helpful for you to collaborate with your child on how to email a teacher, for example. So many college students have no idea how to communicate appropriately with their professors, so again, this is a great time to work with your child on composing polite, professional, grammatically correct messages at appropriate times as needed.
It might seem like a basic skill, but believe me, college students often lean far too casual in their correspondence. They are so used to texting and abbreviating through their use of social media that they have become far less professional in their correspondence. However, professionalism is a core competency that they all need to develop. I’ve received countless emails that kick off with a nonchalant “Hey” or “Ugh” and lack basic punctuation or capitalization. It’s never too early to start discussing with your kids about adjusting their communication style contextually.
On a related note, our kids are part of a generation that tends to overshare. Despite my efforts to keep a friendly atmosphere with my students, it became a bit amusing when a simple “hello” in the hallway led to a detailed update on menstrual cramps. The tendency to overshare is a trait we should acknowledge and work on toning down before your kids leave for college.
Strategies for a Successful School Year
This brings me to another important point. Your kids are likely relatively comfortable with their teachers because high school offers an intimacy that college simply doesn’t. While it’s great that high school teachers know their students, kids can find themselves overwhelmed in college when their professors don’t know who they are. I’ve seen a lot of students have no idea how to get to know or connect with their professors. And this is a lost opportunity because having good relationships with professors can bring a ton of value to students’ careers and lives.
Professors often go above and beyond for students they know well – whether it’s making connections for research opportunities, crafting compelling letters of recommendation, or assisting with professional networking. Many professors also come from diverse career backgrounds outside of academia, so there’s a wealth of knowledge and connections waiting to be tapped into. It’s truly in the best interest of students to learn the art of connecting with their college professors, and it all starts with clear, professional communication.
3. Remind your kids that social media connection is not real connection and is not a substitute for actual social contact.
This one is huge. Students can have thousands of “connections” on social media and feel isolated, lonely, and depressed. Encourage your kids to have real face-to-face conversations, to attend their professors’ office hours, and to elect for in-person activities as often as possible. Genuine social connections play a pivotal role in well-being, and interestingly, social media seems to have had the opposite effect on this generation of students.
4. To the extent possible, try to get your kids into good organizational and time management habits.
This is a particular problem post-pandemic because kids were under-programmed throughout COVID-19 and now often feel out of practice in terms of having busy schedules. Now that they have games and practices and lots of other activities going on, many kids feel overwhelmed by how much they have to do. A practical approach is to encourage your kids to sit down with a calendar and map out their schedules – especially when it comes to homework. This sets a valuable habit in motion before they hit college.
In college, many students flounder because they are so used to their parents running their busy schedules and they don’t know what to do with themselves during long stretches of time when they don’t have class. So, it’s crucial to teach your kids how to structure their days, complete with specific to-do lists and schedules. This ensures they won’t end up spending six hours scrolling through social media without accomplishing a thing.
Strategies for a Successful School Year
5. Encourage your child to obtain hard copies of books/reading materials for optimal learning.
Remember the New York Times article I mentioned earlier? Reading from screens does not optimize learning. Encourage your kids to read actively from real books and to take notes/annotate as needed. No skimming from a computer screen!
6. Please do your best, when your children are in college, to support their academic schedules.
Without fail, every semester I had students ask me to reschedule their exams because of family vacations. Requests such as these put everyone in a bad position and make students look extremely unprofessional, entitled, and ill-equipped for reality. The same goes for asking for extra credit when it hasn’t been offered. Asking for special privileges is not an appropriate form of self-advocacy.
I noted earlier that student success today requires a village, and I include myself in that community. My mission revolves around reaching as many prospective and current college students as possible, guiding them with the skills and strategies essential for flourishing both academically and professionally. One of the things I do is go to high schools to offer talks for large groups – this can be to an entire school, a grade, or other large audience. Additionally, I make myself available for smaller group discussions, which high school students seem to appreciate. These intimate settings, whether in person or via Zoom, allow them and their friends to delve into discussions about what they should be focusing on. As I’m sure you know, kids are much more inclined to listen to advice from anyone but their parents! I also offer talks for various colleges and college student groups.
Strategies for a Successful School Year
When engaging with high school students in group settings, my focus centers on equipping them with the skills and strategies crucial for success in both high school and college. This includes providing specific and actionable time management strategies, coaching on avoiding procrastination, offering targeted study skills, discussing the dos and don’ts of communication and connection with teachers and professors, and guiding them on overcoming test anxiety.
Parenting teens tests every one of us in all conceivable ways. But if you try to incorporate some or all of these tips into what you already do, your teen will be better off than most. Let the rest of the village – and, most importantly, your student – handle the rest.
About the Author:
Jennifer Gershberg, Esq., taught Business Law and Business Ethics at the University of Maryland’s Robert H. Smith School of Business for eight years. She earned her B.A. in English from Cornell University and her law degree from the George Washington University Law School. Gershberg created JG Talks in 2022 due to her concern about students’ declining skills and mental health and now focuses all of her professional time on helping high school and college students achieve success and increase their confidence. She lives outside of Washington, DC, with her husband, three teenagers, and pandemic puppy. Her website is www.jgtalks.org and her Instagram, on which she posts lots of tips for students, is @jgtalksorg.