I Found Porn on my Teen’s Phone and Handled it All Wrong I made a deal with my 13-year-old son. He could have Instagram but ONLY if it was also attached to my phone so I could see what he was sending and receiving. Yes, his account was private, but having his profile on my phone also allowed me to keep tabs on randos trying to add him or inappropriate accounts sending him messages. At times, having his account on my phone was overwhelming. Do you know how many messages teens send per day?! But, still, having access to the messages-by-the-minute gave me peace of mind that he was being safe online and acting appropriately with his friends online. One day, in one of his group chats with three other boys in his class, in the middle of their conversation about basketball and the Playstation game du jour, there it was. A screenshot from PornHub! One of his buddies had sent it in between “Do we have pool tomorrow?” and “Want to play basketball after school?” I’m pretty sure when I saw the picture, I gasped out loud. I was shocked and disgusted. Who was this punk sending naked pictures of women in, may I add, unattainable positions? My knee-jerk reaction was to shut the whole thing down. That’s it. I was going to delete his social media account, take away his iPad, buy him a fleecy onesie and force him to watch the Disney Channel with me 24/7. And then I noticed something else a bit disturbing. A seemingly non-reaction from my son. Had he seen this stuff before? Why wasn’t he as shocked as I was that his friend had sent this image over. He didn’t even acknowledge the image, which I saw as maybe good and bad. Good that he didn’t want to bring focus to it in their conversation and bad because…. why wasn’t he surprised?! So, I handed the message over to my husband because I just thought ‘he’s a guy and he could give me a penis-centric POV.’ Was this just a case of boys being boys? My husband tried to reassure me that it was just a normal part of boyhood and told tales of him sneaking Playboys under his mattress or something similar in his teenage years. So, for the next couple of days, I decided to bury my head in the sand and pretend like nothing happened as I
How to Create Consequences with Your Teen By Delaney Ruston, MD Originally appeared on Screenagers Tech Talk Tuesday blog In a recent blog, I wrote about how to effectively say “no” around screen time and I promised to write more about accountability and consequences when rules are broken. Enforcing rules is by far one of the hardest things we do as parents, especially with teens. There is so little written that gives example consequences and yet getting ideas is so important as a parent. So, after you read this, share what you do in the comments section below — that would be a real gift. Knowing I would write this tonight, I decided to clarify with my daughter, Tessa (who is in Screenagers — and now in 11th grade), the consequences regarding the rules (that she helped create) around screen time at night. Sunday through Thursday night, at a time we agreed upon she hands my husband or me her phone, or she or she plugs it in to charge in the corner of my bedroom. The rule includes not using her computer for socializing after that time as well — i.e. no instant messaging or Instagram on the computer. I asked her for ideas for consequences if she did not turn in the phone at the agreed upon time. Her first one was that if she breaks the rule, she would not have access to her phone for the entire following day. I responded “really?” — with a tone that implied that maybe that would be too harsh. And then, she quickly came up with something a little less harsh, “I can’t bring it to school the next day.” We agreed that made sense. Next, we started brainstorming ways she would succeed with the rule. I asked if she thought it would help her to put an alarm on her phone for the time that she is supposed to put it in my room. She said, “Yep, that makes sense, I will set it for five minutes before to help remind me.” Setting fair consequences, that our youth help set (when possible), is a gift we give our children. It is a lot easier to “check out” and just let kids and teens sort out for themselves what, when and how long they want to use screens. But, of course, that is not the solution. Frankly, that approach would prevent many kids from reaching short- and
5 Ways to Get Festive with the HP Sprocket Printer The HP Sprocket Printer is one of the season’s hottest gifts for teens. And, while it’s perfect for printing photos and sharing with friends, there is more you can do with the HP Sprocket Printer than just print and share photos. For the ultimate in festive fun, here is 5 ways you can spread the holiday cheer with your HP Sprocket Printer. Sweet Treats. If you’re gifting a jar of your famous shortbread or Christmas bark to friends and family, use your HP Printer Sprocket to make a very personal label! Maybe it’s a picture of your bestie enjoying your treats? Or perhaps it’s a snapshot of the two of you together? Either way, they’ll be sure to love the package as much as what is inside. String it up. Whether you’re decorating for a party or want to add some flair to your bedroom, the HP Sprocket LED String Light Clips lets you deck your halls with memories of friends and family throughout the holidays! Throughout the year, you can swap out the photos each season! Put together a holiday bullet journal. Bullet journals are the latest trend wherein practicality meets creativity. Part To-Do Lists, Part Planner and Part Diary, these all-in-one organizers are ideal for keeping your tasks on track while writing down your deepest thoughts or sharing life’s happy moments. A reminder of an upcoming New Year’s Eve party can be heightened with photos printed from your HP Sprocket Printer of all the fun you had at the party once you get home! Map it out. Are you travelling over the holidays? Tape a map to your wall and print out photos from your journeys. Dot the map with memories of skiing in the West Coast or sipping frosty mocktails poolside in Cancun. Better than any passport stamp, your HP Sprocket Printer photos will brighten your map while taking you down memory lane every time you look at it. Tag. You’re it. Need a creative tag to put on a hostess gift? Or meeting up to exchange gifts with friends on Boxing Day? Instead of sticking a generic tag on a present, print out a photo of the two of you and attach it to the gift for a personalized festive touch.
Teens can be the trickiest people to buy for because they can also be the pickiest! With trends, coming and going every day, finding that perfect gift can be daunting. But don’t worry. Rachel Naud, the editor of INBETWEEN magazine, has got you covered with a selection of gifts any teen would love to receive this Christmas. New England Patriots Toque, $27.99, nflshop.ca The perfect stocking stuffer, this New England Patriots toque will keep their heads warm this winter while letting them show their pride for their favourite team! 2nd Edition HP Sprocket Printer, $159.99, hp.ca If your teen is into tech and loves to take selfies and photos with their friends (basically every teen out there!), you’ll win major cool parent points with this 2nd Edition HP Sprocket Printer. It’s about the size of a cell phone, so they can take it with them when they’re hanging out with their friends, and up to three devices can connect to one printer so they can all get in on the fun when they’re all together! Once connected with the app, they can have fun customizing their photos with colourful filters, frames, text and stickers! Afterward, they can also use the pint-size pictures to decorate their spaces or share with friends and spread some holiday cheer. Dermalogica Smooth Skin Favourites, $47, dermalogica.ca The teenage years is an ideal time to get into a skincare routine because it sets them up to learn how to properly care for their skin, which is especially important when they’re often going through hormonal changes that can cause acne. And during the winter, when the weather is dry and cold, you want to really pamper your skin, which is why this Dermalogica Gift Set is great. It includes everything they will need to cleanse, exfoliate and hydrate their skin and give them a glowing complexion for the New Year! Hidden Gems Bath Bomb, $49.99, shopatshowcase.com Being a teen is stressful and taking hot baths is a great way to de-stress and more importantly unplug! While every teen knows about bath bombs, these Hidden Gems are extra special! Inside they’ll find an extra special surprise — a piece of jewelry! And the really fun part about it? The jewelry inside can be worth up to $5,000! E310 Explorian Series Vitamix, $419.95, vitamix.ca This gift is perfect for that athletic teen that is always up early and out the door for those early morning practices or games. Or
How Instagram Led to one Tween's Passion Project My tween helped both of us to find inspiration through Instagram. It all started when Penny got an iPhone. My stepdaughter was nine at the time, which may seem young for a phone of any kind, but my husband and I had decided, back when she was eight, to start her with a BlackBerry Bold, as a way to keep in touch with her when she wasn’t with us. The BlackBerry Bold 9900 debuted in 2011; getting one in 2016 is not exactly a tween’s dream. Its only purpose is for talking. Texting is nearly impossible and forget about apps or games. So there was no real worry about her spending too much time on it. When she was at her mom’s house she could call us to say good morning and we could call her to say goodnight. She said “Thanks” with very little enthusiasm when we gave it to her for her birthday. My stepson, who is two years older, had about the same level of enthusiasm when he got a similar BlackBerry Bold when he turned eight. But she knew the drill. Don’t lose or break the retro phone, and when you’re nine you’ll get upgraded. And she did it. So a year-and-a-half later she scored my old iPhone 5S in rose gold. And with it, she had access to the world of Instagram, Snapchat and every other app out there. Within minutes she asked if she could get an Instagram account. Initially, we said no. We were already aware of our friends’ opinions about our decision to allow our kids to have phones so young, and we were conscious of the pressure it can put on other parents when their kids come home from school saying that other kids in their class have phones. Trust me, I get it. And if my stepkids lived with us full-time, we definitely wouldn’t give them phones. My son, who is four, is certainly not getting a phone when he’s seven, or eight, or nine, or even 10. But if you are divorced, and even a day goes by where you don’t see your kids, then you get it. The phone was our lifeline to Penny. But the apps? That, we weren’t sure about. And yet, neither of us wanted to ban it. I follow the theory of “everything in moderation” in both my own life and parenting and social
6 Gadgets Your Teen Will Love for Back to School With all kinds of new tech coming out every year, your teen is bound to want something or the other and if it helps them get ahead at school – even better! Whether they are just listening to music on the go or writing essays, this list has everything they need for a successful school year. Airpods Revolutionizing the way students use headphones, Airpods are wireless and connect to iPhones, iPads, Apple Watches, and Macs seamlessly. $219 at Apple.ca iPad Pro More powerful than most PC laptops and are extremely easy to use. The Apple Pencil feels natural and responsive on the iPad Pro with the Smart Keyboard connecting easily for typing notes, essays and emails. Starts at $869 at Apple.ca Wireless Speaker This Outdoor Technology BuckShot 2.0 Wireless Speaker from MEC comes with a rubber-bar mount that allows you to mount to your bike handle bars or dune buggy role cages. It also has a built-in speakerphone so your teen can take calls on the go! $49 at Mountain Equipment Co-op. Fujifilm Wireless Square Mobile Printer With Polaroids and photography being all the rage among teens, this gadget is perfect. Snap pictures with your phone or a compatible Fujifilm camera and this wireless printer will print immediately. It’s completely portable and comes with a rechargeable battery. $249 at Best Buy Tablet Stand With full 210 degrees rotation, this tablet stand is perfect for writing essays, watching movies, or simply having a safe place to store the device. $23.99 at Amazon.ca Reading Book Light For a book that your teen just can’t put down, or late-night study sessions, this travel-size book light is perfect. Comes with a sturdy, bendy arm that clips to any hardcover or paperback. $10.95 at Indigo.
Have you played Fortnite yet? If you haven’t, you probably know someone who has as the game’s popularity has exploded in recent months, attracting celebrities, professional athletes, and gamers of all ages. Unfortunately, Fortnite’s mass appeal is attracting hackers and scammers too. Players and parents need to pay attention in order to reduce the risk of identity theft and fraud. Part of the game’s attraction is that it’s free and available to players across multiple video game consoles, PCs, and mobile phones. The Hunger Games-like world of Fortnite allows players to showcase their creativity while playing. However, scammers are also getting creative. Fortnite creator Epic Games recently warned about the most common Fornite scam on its Twitter account for players: “Say NO to scams! Beware of scam sites offering free or discounted V-Bucks.” How Big Is Fortnite? Fortnite: Battle Royale has more than 45 million players worldwide as of January, according to Epic Games. Those numbers are sure to have grown since the game’s popularity has jumped: A recent live-streamed game set a new Twitch record for individual online streams, with over 600,000 people watching. The game featured rappers Drake and Travis Scott, Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster, and one of the game’s popular players, Tyler “Ninja” Blevins. Professional athletes are using the popular Fortnite dances in their own game celebrations and Boston Red Sox pitcher David Price missed a start because he had carpal tunnel syndrome from playing too much Fortnite. SuperData, a research firm that specializes in video games, estimates Fortnite generated nearly $296 million in April and has the possibility of generating $3.5 billion in annual revenue. A Common Fortnite Scam: YouTube Free V-Bucks That kind of money and the addictive nature of the game has drawn criminal elements to the Fortnite universe. New players mean new opportunities for fraudsters who promise something free to help elevate your game. In Fortnite there are V-bucks, the virtual money that players can use to buy new gear. While recently playing the game with my son and wanting to help advance “our Battle Pass” standing, I did a search for “free V-bucks.” I found results promising we would win huge amounts of Fornite V-bucks. My son suggested I check out those third-party videos on YouTube and what came back were more than 4.6 million various videos promising players to get free V-bucks by following their instructions or tips. Most send you to a website where you share an obscure code from your game account; in some cases, that allows scammers to gain